Once again, gli Azzurri must (unfortunately) face your Bleus in an important match. That said, I believe it’s prudent at this time to issue you a pre-emptive SHUT THE F*CK UP, before you even think about running your mouth.

Mmkay? Thanks.

Thank you, Napoli!

I’ll cut right to the chase here: I’m not on vacation. The truth is, grad school is kicking my arse all over the place this semester, which is why I haven’t posted in *gasp!* eight days. To everyone checking in regularly since my last post, I apologize for the lack of stuff to read/click/watch.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like my work load is going to let up until the end of the semester, so it’s possible that I won’t post again until the beginning of May… unless of course something unbelievable happens between now and then, like Roma beating Inter or something equally freak-out worthy. If that happens, check in here, because you can bet your squad’s colors I’ll have some choice words.

Of course, Euro 2008 is this summer, so I will be back in time for the ramp-up to that (worst case scenario) and of course, I’ll still be checking in at the serieAmerica forum. Oh… and as usual, I’ll also be reading Chris’ Roma blog, so you might just see me commenting along with the rest of the Giallorossi faithful over there. Those guys are pazzo.

See you when stuff happens!

Some of the quotes that have been in the news this week have been just too interesting to not post, so here goes:

Antonio Cassano

I didn’t really want to move to Genoa [Sampdoria] because I had been told that it was a dead city. Instead however I discovered that the locals are very friendly and there are lots of nice women around. This latter factor is fundamental for me.

Are we allowed women in the build-up before matches? Well you simply have to organise it. You take a room upstairs and then quickly you meet up with them.

For me the Scudetto in three-to-four years is possible. I said to the President I will reduce my salary and with some effort we can achieve some fine satisfactions.

Francesco Totti

The way I see it, there is a psychological factor because right now everyone is afraid to make a mistake against Inter and referees get nervous. I don’t want to attack Inter, because Inter as a club have nothing to do with it I think, the players are good and they win on the pitch. But I still think there is something behind it. They get small helps.

Unfortunately, that has always happened, like with Juve a while ago, now with Inter. I don’t think Inter are doing what Juve used to do though. When the scandal broke and we read the phone conversations, we realised what had been going on.

I don’t think Inter have done the same, they win on the pitch, then the referees can make mistakes because it’s hard not to make any errors for the full 90 minutes. But when the mistakes always favor the same team, you start to think.

Fabio Quagliarella

We [Udine] are a strong side and we can do even better because at the moment we have ups and downs. Are we good enough to get fourth place? We showed that we are by the way we played in the first half of the season. We just need to believe in our own abilities.

We had a good first half [against Juve], but then Juve had two shots and scored two goals. We hit the post and had other chances, but that’s the way that the top sides are and we got punished. When you take a lead you must be able to keep it. My main complaint is that I am suspended now due to a booking that I didn’t deserve. Giorgio Chiellini elbowed me and I went down, but not because I wanted to get him sent off - it was because my jaw hurt.

Napoli are my heart’s team, but I have never had an offer from them. There was some contact with Milan, but nothing concrete, especially since I came to Udine. Inter? Anyone would do well playing alongside Zlatan Ibrahimovic because he is an extraordinary player and I know that the Nerazzurri have kept an eye on me. I like the Italian giants and Spain is attractive, but when I heard that Manchester United were in the frame, I was very flattered. Nonetheless, I want to reiterate that Udine is a great place and I am happy here. I am in no hurry to leave. I have five years on my contract and I won’t be talking about anything until the summer.

Alberto Paloschi

[On his first, first-squad goal for Milan] When I scored I blacked out, I only saw the arms of the fans going up behind the goal and I didn’t know what to do anymore. It was a good goal, Inzaghi told me he tried to stop Loria with his body to allow me to score. Sincerely I did not expect to come on the pitch so quickly, I thought I would play in the last five minutes, it’s a great feeling and I still can’t believe it happened.

…and the reaction in the stands.

Aaaaaand we’re back.

Since my last post, it looks like quite a bit has happened - at both ends of the spectrum. First, there was the low point of Roma slipping back a bit (ow!), and now we’ve reached the high point of a convincing Azzurri win in yesterday’s Zurich friendly. Let’s take a look at both, starting with this Roma ridiculousness.

So… what the hell happened to Roma?

Friggin’ Siena happened, that’s what. See… some of us knew it was going to be a touch match. Hell; I’ve been saying that Siena are nasty since October. That said, in all fairness, I did not think that Roma would lose. I was banking on the Giallorossi winning by a single goal, but the result was far from it.

At this point, it should be clear that Roma need to sign somebody who can finish. In a perfect world, I’d take Luca Toni or Quagliarella with a side of Di Natale, and watch ‘em run Inter down, but we’ll have to wait for the summer to see any signings at all, let alone the insane pipe-dream ones I just mentioned. In the meantime, Roma have terrible Reggina to contend with, and the Giallorossi should be raring to go. Actually, coming off of a loss like the one against Siena, I wish the next round were against Inter, as motivation is half the match. Look for Roma to bounce back, destroying Reggina by a healthy margin.

Speaking of motivation, that’s something I usually talk about in relation to the Azzurri. Where they found motivation to perform like they did at yesterday’s friggin’ friendly, I don’t know. I’m guessing it has something to do with the ragazzi pulling out all the stops in an effort to get a Euro 2008 call up. Then again, maybe The Don gave a fire-lighting pre-match speech. (That would be something, right?) Who knows? Either way, they ran through Portugal (yes, Portugal… seriously good Portugal featuring C. Ronaldo) like a hot knife through butter. Check this out, and tell me it doesn’t make you smile:

In Portugal’s defense, they had some decent chances, and their one goal was very nice. Outside of that however, they were under consistent attack by the whole Azzurri team picture. Oh… and speaking of attack, in case you’re wondering why The Don left out Del Piero in favor of Palladino (despite Del Piero’s nine Serie A goals versus Palladino’s one), you need only know two things to understand: 1) Del Piero won’t play anywhere but up front without throwing a hissy-fit, as I’ve mentioned many times, while 2) Palladino is willing to play where he’s needed. READ: on the friggin’ wing.

Yeah… wings. Quagliarella. Palladino. Hell yes. Suddenly, it appears as though the Azzurri have real options out wide (besides Camoranesi), and enough can’t be said about the way these two guys hassled Portugal. Outstanding.

Also a monster for the Azzurri was Pirlo. What a presence on the ball! Meanwhile, Toni was his usual sacrificial self, and although his goal was somewhat of a poach… someone should tell Portugal that if you’re going to mark Luca Toni like that, you might as well not mark him at all. And Di Natale… the guy was everywhere. I don’t care how old he is, Roma need to sign this guy. Now.

If you’re interested in reading more about the match, Marco has a thorough write-up.

Alright. I’m going away for a few days. It’s not a vacation… well… not totally. It’s one of those half pleasure, half business deals… and no, it has nothing to do with the Super Bowl… that’s for damn sure.

In any event, I’m going to be out until about halfway through next week.

Until I return, enjoy Gattuso smacking people around:

Hey - it might not be a Nerazzurri loss, but the rest of Serie A will take it, as Roma now close the gap by two points, leaving only five between the Giallorossi and ArgentInter.

So thanks, Udinese!

Looking at ArgentInter’s form as of late, the words “turning point” come to mind; two draws (granted, against worthy opponents) preceded by a shaky victory against a side that sits at the bottom half of the table do not exactly inspire confidence. If we weren’t talking about the league-leading Nerazzurri here, you can bet your behind that the word “crisis” would be tossed around by the Italian media for sure. Of course, Mancini believes the cards are stacked against him, but the rest of us are just muttering “welcome to the club.”

After the next Coppa Italia fixture against Juventus, things will get a bit easier on Inter, as they face Empoli, Catania and Livorno in succession. When that’s over, however, that’s when things get interesting. ArgentInter will have to travel to Anfield where they face a rabid ‘Pool (a contest that’s sure to wear them down like no other) and then return home and square off against Sampdoria, and three days later… Roma.

Elsewhere in Serie A, Rolando Bianchi was on the field for all of five minutes before being booked and subsequently sent off in Lazio’s draw with Torino.

The Duck bagged his first brace for the Rossoneri, as Ancelotti lined him up in front of Seedorf in Milan’s win over Genoa. With Seedorf going buck-wild for Milan as of late, one wonders if Ka-Pa-Ro shouldn’t be shelved in place of See-Ka-Pa. (Yeah, my head hurts from that too.) Oh… and FatRon’s hurt again. [sarcasm]What a great investment![/sarcasm]

Cagliari showed that they’re more desperate than Napoli, in what I’m going to call a slight upset, though Napoli’s Hamsik definitely deserves honorable mention for his third goal in two matches. Oddly enough, Cagliari started out without Foggia again, bringing him on for Acquafresca in the 56th minute. Something’s going on behind the scenes there, although I’m not sure what; chances are, it’s related to chair throwing enforcers. Anyway, congratulations to Cagliari for their first three-pointer since freaking September.

By now hopefully everyone has heard that Manchester City is loaning striker Rolando Bianchi to Lazio.  Don’t worry though - I’m not writing about it to inform you of the move.  Instead, I’d like to point out that this is the first step forward Lazio have taken since they went friggin’ mental after crashing out of the Champion’s League.    Sure, they managed to pick up a match here and there, most notably today against Fiorentina, but behind the scenes, things could’ve been better with their two best players: Pandev and Rocchi.  Now… Lazio are in such bad shape that you’d think they’d be promising the world to their two best guys while simultaneously tacking on a few acquisitions to fight off the relegation ghosts, but there they sit in 14th place, moving on nothing. Nobody. Zero. Niente.

Enter Bianchi.  Finally, they’re taking some action, but he’s one guy.  Hey Lazio… borrowing Bianchi is just a warm-up, right?

Up north, Juventus have shed Criscito and Olivera, but it sounds like they’re about to bring on Sissoko, the used-to-be-amazing controlling midfielder whose form (according to a Liverpool-loving friend of mine) has been very so-so as of late.  Actually,  until further notice, let’s call him so-so-Sissoko.  Today, another midfielder from the ‘Pool is yapping about Juve, leading me to speculate regarding his motives.  Why Juve?  Why not that other place where all of the Argentine dudes follow the Swede Piper?  Is this guy buddies with so-so?

Alright. Now, I have something totally unrelated for you… but I mean that in the best possible way.  Some of you might remember that just before Christmas, I posted a incomprehensibly stupid video about English dudes who voluntarily allowed Wayne Rooney - who I think looks like a Cabbage Patch Kid, and who Marco tells us is one ugly dude - to freakin’ blast shots right them.

Well, apparently they let Italy’s own Rino Gattuso have a go, and although I’m not sure if he shells these clowns as thoroughly as Rooney, I was amused by the concept of Gattuso training with a pit bull.  Anyway, here you go:

(In case you’re wondering, there are two other renditions of this stupidity, one with Malouda and the other with Frings. Both are on YouTube.)

It’s a good thing I’m a Roma fan, otherwise I’d call Il Capitano overconfident for making a claim like this.  Since I am a Roma fan, however, I’ll call him ballsy and quietly hope that Inter don’t use his words as motivation.  Here’s my best translation of Er Pupone’s words, taken from here:

Interviewer: “You win playing beautiful football, but Inter runs…”

Totti: “I believe that for the Scudetto, there’s now an Inter-Roma dual, with all respect to the others…”

Interviewer: “Totti, but who will win the tri-color?”

Totti: “Of course, Roma. Inter will only be second.” 

Il Capitano also answered a bizarre question about the Pope, of whom he apparently has a very high opinion, as well as one about fan violence, which he (of course) condemned.  The latter question was a follow-on to incidents taking place at Sunday’s Roma-Catania match in which three Catania supporters were stabbed. (None of the wounds were serious, thankfully.  Actually, if I had to guess, I’d wager to say that they were stabs to the ass.  Yes, I’m serious.  Maybe somebody in the know can back me up on that.)

Alright.  That’s all for today.  (Life outside serieAmerica calls.) Remember though, tomorrow Coppa Italia continues, and of course, if you’re on this side of the pond you may find yourself scrambling for an alternate means of viewing the matches.  That said, ESPN360 claims to cover Coppa Italia, although I haven’t tried to use it yet.  If anybody tries it, post a comment!